Friday Flash: Xavier Xanthum: It's for the Birds

I haven't published a story about Xavier Xanthum, Space Explorer, since sometime in 2020, and I thought it was about time. Imagine my surprise when I found that I seem to have a story I wrote and never published (I'm not sure why; evidence suggests I eventually used it as a writing sample when applying for an artist residency). I may simply have given up; 2020 was a difficult year.

In any case, I clearly wrote the story to highlight the birds of New Zealand, and it was kind of fun revisiting some of them. I've included a couple of photos at the end to match at least one of the birds mentioned. It's just over 1100 words.

 

It’s for the Birds

 

“Larry, are there any unexplored planets in this sector?”

The Wanderlust’s AI took a moment to respond. Even a computer needs time to review all the planets in a sector as crowded as their current location, or so Larry would have him believe. “Negative, Captain. There appears to have been at least a preliminary review of every planetary body over the size of asteroid.”

Xavier Xanthum, Space Explorer, sighed. He made his living off unexplored planets, but for the time being he was stuck in the sector, due to circumstances beyond his control. “Fine, then. Find me an uninhabited planet, anyway. Someplace with good scenery where I can take a vacation.”

“There’s Aoteoroa. Seems to have been named after some ancient Earth locale. Indicates that there are no mammalian predators. Some kind of bird sanctuary, apparently.”

“Birds?” Xavier was dubious.

“And amazing mountain scenery. That’s what the Planetary Guide says, anyway.”

“Tourist facilities?”

“Nope.” Larry knew this mood of Xavier’s. He wouldn’t go to any kind of resort. He couldn’t afford to, could he? “There are landing restrictions. The ship has to go through a cleansing process to ensure we don’t bring any rodents or other life forms to the planet.”

An indignant “meow” greeted this statement. Xavier reached down and scooped up the ship’s cat. “I know, Comet. You wouldn’t let rodents aboard, would you?”

Larry cleared his throat, ignoring the fact that he didn’t have one. “Ahem. One thing: Comet isn’t permitted on the planet’s surface. You can land alone in a cleansed capsule, or use an electronic collar to ensure that she doesn’t leave the ship.”

“Why?”

“Apparently there have never been ground-based predators on the planet. Only birds and a few reptiles. As a result, they never developed defenses.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning that many of the birds can’t fly, and most of them nest on the ground.”

Xavier considered Comet. He hated to leave her out, but this place was starting to intrigue him. “Oh, one other question—any intelligent life?” He threw it out there, not expecting any. Birds must by definition be bird-brained.

“That has not been fully determined,” Larry said. “Some reports suggest there is.”

“That settles it,” Xavier decided. “Comet stays aboard, and I go find out if it’s possible to have intelligent life in a place inhabited by nothing but birds. Maybe someone will pay for the story if I get the goods on them. Oh, yeah,” he added as an afterthought. “Is it safe?”

“There are no mammalian predators,” Larry repeated.

 

§

 

Xavier guided the Wanderlust to a landing on a gravel bar. He could see that the large, braided river that had created it flooded at times, but felt confident that it would do for his visit. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. He could have used the lander, but it was nice to have the ship—and Larry—at hand. Anyway, he’d need to check on Comet from time to time.

A thick forest pressed on either side of the river. If not for the wide stream bed—far wider than the modest flow required—it would have been claustrophobic. Xavier opened the door, stepped out, and walked toward the forest.

Within a few steps he stopped. The din was deafening. “Birds,” he said, awed. Millions of birds, every one making some kind of enthusiastic noise. Little birds flitted in the lower bushes. A larger bird soared overhead, calling keee—ahh, keee—ahh. He was admiring a flash of orange under the wing when a noise made him look down.

A bird a bit larger than Comet stepped out of the brush. Its feathers were so shaggy as to appear at first to be fur, and for a moment Xavier wondered if someone had let in an alien mammal. Then he laughed.

The bird trotted across an open space, two hairy-feathered legs moving a little too fast for their size, a head with an unbelievably long beak bobbing along in front. Xavier burst into laughter. A slightly smaller, similarly shaped bird with a shorter beak ran up, grabbed Xavier’s pant-leg, and tried to carry him off. A tiny fluff-ball, obviously a chick, followed.

“I’m going exploring,” Xavier informed Larry, once he’d stopped laughing.

“You will not go far?” Larry inquired, his tone slightly anxious. “There may be—”

Xavier cut him off. “I’ll be careful that no little birds carry me off.” Still laughing at the absurd brown feather-balls, he sauntered off to explore the forest. Something like a path led into the trees, and Xavier followed it, not thinking about what might have created a path in a world of birds. A few paces further on, he froze, not believing what he saw.

It was just like the little brown bird-balls that had made him laugh. Only this one was twice his height, and there was nothing laughable about it. The beak wasn’t that of a serious hunting bird, but it looked capable of crunching up pretty much anything it wanted. The clawed feet looked like they could do damage just by stepping on him.

Xavier backed slowly down the path toward the gravel river bed, the bird matching him step for step, beady eye fixed on him. When he reached the open, Xavier turned and ran for the ship, even knowing that he couldn’t outrun something with legs that long. The bird would be on him in three strides....

A shadow swept over him. Xavier ducked, thinking that it was another of the giant blob-birds, attacking from above. When the shadow moved on, he turned in time to see a raptor with the wind-span of a personal lander swoop down on the flightless blob-bird, which immediately lost interest in Xavier and reared back to defend itself.

The ensuing battle was fierce and protracted, and Xavier only remembered just in time to get back to the Wanderlust. From the doorway he watched while the flying bird slew the marginally larger flightless bird and began feeding. Shaking, he looked around for Larry. The eyeballs were at his shoulder.

“Larry, what did you mean, telling me there were no predators on this planet?”

“Correction, Captain.” When the AI got formal, Xavier knew he was in trouble. “I said there were no mammalian predators.”

“Right. And I’m a mammal, but it looked to me like they were willing to try me anyway.”

“I think you misunderstood, Captain. It was the nature of the predators to which I referred, not the prey.”

Xavier glanced out the view-port and shuddered. The flying bird continued to eat, while another—its mate?—coasted down to join it. There was no sign of the smaller birds.

“I think I’ve had enough vacation,” Xavier announced with emphasis. “If we can’t leave the system yet, let’s go explore some asteroids.”

 

~~~

Probably a bell bird

Weka--the very curious bird that grabs Xavier's trousers (based on an actual event). The bird that precedes it out of the bushes is meant to be a kiwi, though since the real things are nocturnal it wouldn't be hanging out with the wekas.

 

Baby weka

Kea. If you look closely you can just glimpse the orange patch under the wing.

  

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 ©Rebecca M. Douglass, 2026 

As always, please ask permission to use any photos or text. Link-backs appreciated.


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