IWSG: Missing our Supports

 

 
What is the IWSG?
 
We are a group of writers who gather on the Internet to offer support and encouragement to each other! And we owe it all to the founder, Ninja Captain Alex Cavanaugh. Thanks, Alex!
Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time - and return comments. This group is all about connecting!

Every month, we announce a question that members can answer in their IWSG post. These questions may prompt you to share advice, insight, a personal experience or story. Include your answer to the question in your IWSG post or let it inspire your post if you are struggling with something to say. 


The awesome co-hosts for the February 2 posting of the IWSG are Joylene Nowell Butler, Jacqui Murray, Sandra Cox, and Lee Lowery!  Be sure to drop in and see what they have to say!

Optional February 2 question - Is there someone who supported or influenced you that perhaps isn't around anymore? Anyone you miss?

Okay, IWSG--way to hit me in the guts. Those of you who've been following this blog know that this is exactly what I've been dealing with. Let's start farther back, though.

The main reason I'm a writer is because of teachers. Teachers from grades 2 up (I don't remember about grade 1) who told me I could write, and encouraged me. Some of those have died; all have passed out of my life. But I still remember them and thank them for the support, as well as for teaching me grammar, punctuation, and spelling (well, mostly), even if they did have to give up on teaching this southpaw cursive!

My Mom has always been a great supporter, too, and I'm really grateful I still have her in my corner, passing on the kind words of her friends and neighbors who are reading my books!

But the question was about who we miss. That would be Dave. My husband of not quite 26 years who died in an accident 20 months ago. Aside from obviously missing him every day in every way, Dave was the person with whom I could talk over the ideas while they were still developing. He was also blatantly proud of me and my work. When we were traveling and meeting new people, I might not mention I'm a writer, but he always did, bragging about my books.

That's as good a lead-in as any to my writer's report, since writing since his death has been decidedly more difficult. Where I am now, I am particularly missing him because I really need to talk out the plot problems in the new book. Still, blundering along talking to myself, I have reached the point where I think I'm ready to start the rewrite. 

As a recap, I've been working on a plan for revision, and have been through the existing draft, created an outline of what I wrote with notes on what's wrong, and decided that enough was wrong that I'm going to rewrite the whole draft. I've now reached a point where I think the vision is getting clear enough to at least start the new version--though I think I will have to stop partway through and see if I know enough then to plan the ending more clearly! I'd hoped for a neater view of how it develops, but, well, sometimes life is messy. I'm beginning to think that writing is *always* messy!

Submissions report:
2 stories submitted



Comments

  1. I can totally relate to how much you must miss your husband. I lost mine almost eight years ago in a sudden death too. I miss and love him every day. It's hard not having the wonderful support our partners provided. I'm glad Dave was such a support to you.

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    Replies
    1. I can’t believe it’s been 8 years for you. (((Hugs)))
      You are such a great supporter of the writing community. Thank you for hanging in there!

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  2. Writing is always messy, and so is life. So terribly sorry for your loss. I'm afraid today is going to dig up bad memories for many people.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, this was a risky topic for them to pick. And you are right—life (and writing) is always messy. But sometimes it’s messier than others.

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  3. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope things get easier for you.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. The process of healing is another messy thing, but I am (slowly) getting to know Rebecca After Dave, who isn’t at all the same person as that long-ago Rebecca Before Dave.

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  4. Yeah, my immediate response to the question was 'way too personal.' But then some losses are best kept to oneself.
    Not sure if you can talk your plot points out with someone else yet, but there's always zoom.

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    Replies
    1. I’ve been thinking about a zoom. It feels like it would be harder than an in-person talk, but I have done dissections of plots with other people. It’s just that it’s so much easier with someone you live with—not a one-time conversation, but an on-going one.

      Delete
    2. Yes, that throwaway thought as you go out of the room - what if I made them do x instead? My guinea pigs are used to that. But they approve everything I say, so it doesn't help that much :)

      Tech note: I can't reply to your reply - see if you can set it to 'nest replies'

      Delete
    3. Jemima, there doesn't seem to be a setting for that. Just two layers of comments, but since they show up in order under the original it's pretty clear.

      You clearly need to train the piggies to be better editors!

      Delete
  5. So sorry for you loss. This was definitely a tough topic this month, but I think by sharing our grief it can bring us all closer together. Sending virtual hugs!

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  6. Hi, Rebecca! I have thought about you and Dave and his stunning, tragic accident so many times. Incomprehensible and cruel. But you are amazing. You did not give up on life, and I'm sure he wouldn't want you to. I admire you tremendously. How did I miss that "Death by Donuts" was released? I am returning home from Hawaii in a several days and will order it right away. I nearly lost Terry to a sudden and unexpected heart attack in April, and I have had a serious health challenge myself in recent months. Fortunately we are both doing much better. I hope your book is doing will, and I can't wait to read it in print! Take care!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you--and I'm so glad you and Terry are both doing better now. Scary stuff.

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  7. Hi Rebecca - I came to your new site thanks to your holiday card. The tribute to Dave was beautiful - I am sorry for your loss. He was a special person - one of a kind. Both his and your photography are wonderful ways for me, and I’m sure many others, to experience the majesty of nature through your eyes. Good luck with the latest work. ❤️

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